信一信愛情, 算一算關係

近日在重看House第7季的時候, 看見這一集的一個有趣的理論有感。

H: I'm worried.
W: Because she is happy?
H: No, because I am. For now, We're in the honeymoon period. Our brains are flooded with endorphins. Once she snaps out of it, where does that leave us?
W: In an adult relationship.
H: Name one thing that Cuddy and I have in common besides work.
W: There's... You're both... wait.
H: Exactly. Long-term relationships are based on compatibility. Right now, we only have sex.
W: House, you don't actually think she'd dump you because you, what, don't do yoga?
H: Not right away. We'll fight, makeup sex. Fight, maybe sex, and then she'll dump me. With possible goodbye sex.
W: So, instead of enjoy the honeymoon phrase, you've decided to skip it entirely.
H: We need to find something we like doing besides each other.
W: Right, or you could just talk to her about it.
H: No, then she'll start pretending to like things that she really doesn't just to make me feel better. which makes it even worse, which won't be my fault, so I'll resent her. And wont be her fault, so she'll resent me.


理性的人看愛情, 其實也和一般人一樣, 都講感覺的。講完感覺, 之後就談客觀條件了, 例如雙方的背景、喜好、性格、理念等等。不只是看看那麼簡單, 他們還會以那些條件來仔細計算一下二人間的相容性, 來決定對這段感情的信心。畢竟理性的人都相信幾乎一切都可計算的。而他們的想法往往都很有趣, 他們會認為只要中間有些微的不容, 都注定這段感情會完蛋。

Murphy’s Law: What can go wrong, will go wrong

這所謂定律也許正確, 特別是當時間線是無限的話。賭博的時候, 機率到了一定的大小, 賭者就會下注, 因為他看到勝利的機率是較大。一段愛情, 本應就是一輩子的。而兩個人在一起的每一秒鐘, 都其實是一個賭局。一輩子, 不就是一條無限長的時間線嗎? 即使有99.99%的匹配, 都早晚會完蛋的。看看身邊情侶分手的比例吧, 不難令人對愛情失去信心。

相愛的人是會一起努力去work一段關係的‧好吧, 99.99%也許太誇了, 但就當有90%匹配吧, 即是說, 也有10%是要大家一起chok來互相迎合吧, 都好像不少了啊。可是給你Chok出來了, 都是假的啊, 這正是House不和Cuddy商量的原因。

且看Cuddy怎麼說吧。

C: I'm not gonna dump you 'cause we like different or books or music. On the other hand, I might dump you if you don't talk to me when you have a problem with our relationship.
H: I know you believe that now... but the fact is...
C: Who cares about common? Common is boring. it's...common! I like being with you. You make me better, hopefully I make you better. What we have is...uncommon. And I've never been happier.

典型的蜜月期對白, 都是這樣的浪漫。

我看過一本書, 書名好似就叫愛情心理學。其中一段說, 經過統計, 一般因為大家的相異而一起這種Uncommon的情侶, 起初的愛情指數確是較高的, 可也是死得最快的。長跑型的就當然是有共同興趣的啦。

計出來的, 看來都很科學, 也很可能是最安全的, 但成功的機率也總是不高。信的話, 卻至少都會享受到蜜月期的那段歡愉啊。Either way, 這兩項都不是選項, 我們都沒法選擇。

我信, 我會找到那個她。而她會令我覺得, 90%就是100%。